From the day your first child left the womb (or maybe even before) you've been trying your hardest to be the best mom that you could be. You worry about protecting your children and teaching your children. You worry about the environment you are raising them in. You worry about everything. You do your best to give them the best. And subconciously, you worry about how others around you rate you as a mother.
Whether it was the Mother-in-law, a neighbor, another mother at school, or even your husband every mom has heard at least one negative comment about the job they are doing as a mother. It's the kind of thing that can really ruin a day.
Everybody has an Opinion
Everybody has their own opinion about what is most important in mothering, and too many moms try to satisfy the expectations of too many people. It's a natural thing to do There is no manual out there that outlines what a mother is supposed to do. The things that you have to concern yourself with change even faster than your child is growing and it won't slow down anytime in the near future.The good news is that nobody is grading you. The only person who is going to judge how you performed as a Mother is your child. Your child will tell you that you were sub-par and complain until they reach a certain age when they turn around and say "Thank You, I never realized how hard it was for you."
Mothering is a Marathon
The problem with trying so hard to be a great mom lies in your ability to sustain this energy level long term. Moms don't get a Spring Break. Mothering isn't a race, it's a marathon that will last 18 years at a minimum. Even then it's not like your job is completely finished. Stability and consistency are important to your children and your own well being.The Need to Overachieve
You don't have that need to be the best mom simply because you are concerned with what other people think. That would be a simple issue to resolve. We all want what is best for our children and grow dissatisfied with the status quo.Take a bit of a step back and realize what a wonder it is that you've accomplished all that you have already accomplished. Appreciate all of your own hard work. Expect things to break down occasionally. Pace yourself and understand that there are limits to what you can reasonably expect of yourself.
Every Family is Different
There are families where the in-laws are all friendly and helpful, the neighbors all chip in to make sure the household is running smoothly, the children are well behaved all the time, and the Dad regularly volunteers to skip the big game to take the kids out to the museum for the day. (There are two of them, actually. Nobody likes them.)The rest of us have to deal with a varying levels of drama, trauma, health and assistance. What is easy to accomplish for one Mom is an arduous achievement for another. All moms work hard and care immensely about their children. In the end all that really matters is that you and your children are happy and healthy.
Judge yourself on your best moments, and on your own reasonably set standards and expectations.
Discuss You Are Not Being Graded
