Lynni

We don't usually exchange gifts with DH's siblings. Since my DN was born, we've limited Chirstmas to just the boys. I usually but something small (like a hostess gift) if we are going to see them, but that's it. SIL does send something to DH for his birthday and to Bubbs.

My birthday was almost two weeks ago. When we were at the IL's last week SIL called and told me that she hadn't forgotten about my bday and that she would be sending a card. I found this a bit odd, but said thank you and that she didn't need to send a card. (I doubted she actually had bought a card yet.) Yesterday, I got the card and a check for $100! $100 seems a bit out a line. And a check?

My MIL has a way of spreading completely over the top rumors and passing them off as truth. (i.e. - Martha Stewart was my wedding planner. No joke, that is what she told people. I didn't even have a wedding planner!) She told DH that BIL (SIL's DH) got a $1.5 MILLION dollar bonus. Yeah, right. BIL is an atty and makes good money. He should, he's been a practicing law for the past 20+ years. However, I know that wasn't his bonus. SIL called asking for some tax advise and told me that BIL was given shares as a bonus. Sure, it could be worth a lot of money, but it isn't now. I saw no reason to share my private conversation with the ILs. However, they go around telling everyone that their children are worth millions. SIL knows this and totally plays into her mother's hand.

Basically, I feel funny taking cash from SIL. Even if she would has sent a gift worth $100 I'd have felt funny, but cash just seems even stranger. DH thinks I should cash it, send a thank you and be done. FIL called this morning and asked if I got my card from SIL yet and asked what I got. Then the red flag went up. I'd be willing to bet that SIL told the IL's that she was sending me a card/gift, but didn't tell them what it was. She wants me to go telling everyone that she gave me the money and wants MIL to go telling her friends how rich she is. It is all pretty twisted. When I explained my theroy to DH he agreed. When I asked him what I should do, he told me to cash the check and head to the spa. It's not hurting me to take the cash. It just feels weird.

Am I reading too much into this?

baseballmama

This totally sounds like something my BIL would pull. In fact, he did pull this at Christmas. Last Christmas he suggested that we just limit gifts to the kids. We totally agreed, so for Christmas we got DN several very nice gifts and shipped them to him, along with a card for BIL. Two weeks later we get a box from BIL with gifts for Spencer & Anna and cards for us. The cards for us had Traveler's checks in them for $100 each. This pissed me off. He's the one that suggested no gifts, then goes out and spends $200 on us. He called Christmas morning and asked if we got our gifts. I told him yes and thank you, but I thought we weren't exchanging gifts anymore. He says "well its not much. You know I had some extra money lying around this year." That last comment was directed at us because DH and BIL sold a farm that DH and SIL had inherited. In essence he was implying that we had already spent all our money. DH's family treats him like he is a stupid teenager with money - his mother, who doesn't even have a checking account, is always giving us financial advice. Hello, I'm an accountant! Anyway, that's another rant. BIL's birthday is at the beginning of Jan. MIL calls to remind us (we didn't need reminding) and tells us to be sure to get BIL a gift. I know that BIL told her that we didn't get him anything for Christmas. DH told her that we sent him a card. I refused to get him a gift just because, and DH agreed.

So my advice is cash the check, head to the spa, and send your SIL an over-the-top thank you note. Let them play their games. If you don't cash the check or send it back it will just cause problems and give your in-laws something else to ***** about.

Mcheer

I definitely think the $100 has more attached to it that just a "gift"...but who cares go to the spa! I am sure there is something between the lines but let that be HER issue not yours!

lapoissonne

Oh yeah. Go to the spa. It might not ever cover a good massage and a tip but it would cover most of it. Worth it's gold in the stress it has caused you.