Amateur psychologists - diagnose me!

mcbean · 10-18-2007, 10:23 AM

Why oh why am I the way that I am? Please probe! I am always last minute about things with deadlines - heading to the post office to get the postmark on the due date, sometimes being late just because I don't even know why! Not sending birthday gifts on time, even if I have them, even if I don't. My DN turned 10 at the end of Sept and I still haven't sent a gift. Why do I do it? Why don't I get my act in gear? I love these people, am I just plain lazy? I don't feel lazy, I don't know what it is...

HELP!

sarahxb · 10-18-2007, 10:26 AM

Here's my diagnosis....you are exactly like me in this area.

How's that for helpful?

Carol in Maryland · 10-18-2007, 10:27 AM

Me too - I have an actual ADD diagnosis

KATin NJ · 10-18-2007, 10:28 AM

Aileen...step into my office......

YOU ARE HUMAN and a MOTHER!!!!! MY theory is that for every fault or shortcoming we have there is a counterbalance...For instance, deadlines are just not your thing. BUT, if that niece asked you to come to her play and you could physically do it, you would be there.

Be kind to yourself and realize that you are a good person. I tend to procrastinate when I am overwhelmed, not b/c I don't care. Maybe you are the same?

luvin4kidz · 10-18-2007, 10:32 AM

Last minute about everything, huh? Join the club!

Eleni · 10-18-2007, 01:06 PM

Hey, you just described me too! And Carol...I often wonder if I have ADD that has gone unnoticed over the years.

lapoissonne · 10-18-2007, 02:26 PM

BECAUSE YOU HAVE THREE SMALL KIDS! That is my answer and I am sticking to it. I am the same way. In fact, I don't even do belated anymore I just forget about it and move on. I just can't keep track anymore. One day I will start keeping up with that stuff again but until then people just have to forgive me. MIL called the day after her birthday to give DH crap (she knows I am not getting her anything) about not calling or sending anything for her birthday. He has had an excuse for 31 years. He's a guy. I have my SS gift sitting her to be mailed and I have been to the mail box place a few times...have I done it yet??? Nope.

Sparqi · 10-18-2007, 02:55 PM

I find I only procrastinate if it's something I don't want to do/face or it's a PITA to do. So, I have dragged my feet on finishing up my Dad's estate. I just don't want to deal with sis on a few issues. It has to get done...we have to take some inherited funds on the anniversary of his death...but I am being slow. I also HATE HATE HATE the post office. I now am late with gifts and such less often because I order online and have the gifts shipped. Probably costs a few more bucks, but I am on time and less stressed out.

I am going to be brutally honest...lateness drives me nuts. It's one of my biggest peeves. Things happen...traffic, a poop blowout, whatever. You are going to be late sometimes. But, if it's chronic, something has to change, esp if YOU are unhappy about your own lateness. I have a very very dear friend who is late for and with EVERY FREAKING THING. This was before and after kids...so you can't blame the kids. I accept her for who she is because no way is she going to change, but I build in what I know about her into any timeline that we have. If she says we're leaving at 7....no way are we going to hit the road till 8 at the earliest. I plan accordingly.

If you want to change, maybe write down the things you are late with (getting to school, delivering gifts, etc.) Then write down why you are late...and ask 5 whys at least:
I am late with gifts...why?
Because I can't get to the P.O....why?
Because it's hard with 3 kids...why?
Because they are hard to manage with a big package....why?
Because I only have 2 hands...why?
Well, that's what God gave me.

Huh. Solution? One P.O. trip a month when the kids are being watched by someone else OR ordering gifts online. OR, get a postal scale at home, print your postage online and leave your packages on your doorstep for the mailman.

You can tell me to shut up if you want. I am not a very good shrink!

KATin NJ · 10-18-2007, 06:36 PM

Kim,
You just make me laugh..... Great response, and I can just HEAR you with the comments/questions..why?

mcbean · 10-18-2007, 06:41 PM

That's the thing, I've been like this since before kids came along. So I don't really have them as an excuse. And I'm not late for appointments, school, etc. I'm just late with sending things. Gifts, birth announcements, Christmas cards, taxes, that kind of stuff. Why? I honestly don't know!