JenR

My firm adopted two families with seriously ill children - the hospitals recommend them to local firms. One is a grandmother (37), her boyfriend (42), her daughter (14) and the sick grandchild (14 months). It is TERRIBLE but at first I couldn't get past the idea of their family - i.e. why are the mother and grandmother so young, why aren't the grandparents married, where are the real fathers, etc.... I realize at times like this just how judgmental I am about certain things. This is a family in need, for crying out loud, and I'm worried about why they're not following my idea of "normal". Could I even imagine having a really sick kid, let alone at 14?? So, anyway, that was my wake-up call to get into the true spirit of christmas. I'm going shopping this weekend!

KATin NJ

Jen,
That is great that you are doing this. Don't beat yourself up for be "judgemental". Everyone does it whether they admit it or not. Sometimes it's not so much judging as trying to personalize the situation and imagine yourself going through this crisis.

What you are doing is the true spirit of what Christmas is all about-giving without receiving. In essence, you will receive the greatest gift of all for your generosity: knowing you helped someone who is suffering the greatest loss imaginable.

mommy23ms

Jen- it is so hard sometimes. I know we have discussed some things that have happened in our families and I think that makes us more resentful than those who have not experienced such things. When you see someone abusing the system it is easy to assume everyone does. It sort of taints you to a certain extent.

Glad to know you're in the Christmas spirit, just try to make peace with yourself and the fact that you are doing the right thing - don't feel bad Jen

Lynni

Don't beat yourself up. Kat and Jen are right. Honestly, those thoughts run through my head too. I'm not proud, but they are there.