Lynni

We went to dinner last night with DH's friend (Frank) and his fiance (Tracey). I've known him for years, but last night was the first time I'd met her.

I knew from DH's friend that she works out all of the time. She teaches several classes and is very fit. I also knew that she was "heavy" before. She is in her late 30s and I know that starting a family it not something they they are going to put off for too long after the wedding. Then last week, Fred told me that Frank was asking him about adoption. I was surprised at that, because they aren't ttc. Fred then explained that Tracey has real hang-ups about getting fat again and is afraid of what pregnancy will do to her body.

Last night, Fred was telling them that starting on Monday he is starting a diet. We have a friend that has lost 30 lbs in 3 months by cutting out dairy and wheat. Fred is going to "try" this. Tracey went on a 20 min rant on how to loose weight. How to be a "fighter", how to give up temptation, etc. I then asked her how much weight she lost. She wouldn't give me a number, but said "I was big, a size 14. I NEVER want to look like that again."

Ooooook. I'm smaller then a 14, but not much smaller. Granted, she is about 5 ft tall, so that size on her probably looked like more. The way she talked though, I was expecting her to be a candidate for gastric by-pass. The rest of the dinner she was talking about carb exchanges and calories. I was good about dinner last night, but she made me not want to eat. She was giving Fred pointers on every single thing is stuck in his mouth. I wanted to slap her.

I wanted to say something to her, but I didn't dare. Would you have said anything to her?

Carol in Maryland

Nope, but I would make future events with them something that doesn't include conversation over a meal! She may not realize it, because it doesn't fit the classics that are well known, but this girl has an eating disorder. Anyone whose entire world revolves around maintaining a certain body image is not mentally healthy. Think about it - would you rather have RS or a perfect body? As you know, I am certainly a big fan of adoption, but not as a beauty treatment.

ThatSuzyGirl

Yuck! I think that I might have said something like, "I think my DH is perfect just as he is." in a gentle way.
That girl sounds like a trip. I don't think I'd want to do much with her socially.
Suzy

Sparqi

I agree with Carol. She has an eating disorder. Definitely don't bring up food or the subject of diets with her again.

jalapeno_76

I'm also with carol--she has a body image disorder and it has a name (we thing MIL also had it). It is typified by people who become obsessed with diets/calories/carbs/etc and are constantly thinking/talking about what they eat. To an outsider, they seem just ultra healthy, but when you break it down, they really have a problem. I have to Google and find the name... I can't remember it right now, but I'll post when I find it.

[ETA: It's called Orthorexia Nervosa... describes MIL to a T. She has gotten better about in the last year or so. It was *bad* for a while...]

lapoissonne

That is ALL the mother/women is my lives! No wonder why I get obsessed when I "diet" Ugh! I agree with others. Just avoid the topic. Let Fred know too. It might be good for her to have some friends who try to redirect her away from the obsession and find new topics! She might not realize it and could stand a "hey, enough with the food talk!" from Fred (because for some reason it is easier to take from a guy that isn't your boyfriend).

JenR

I wouldn't have said anything, but I had a very close friend just like her. Everything was a "100-calorie ________", everything had to have the calories attached to it. She definitely had an eating disorder, it just didn't manifest in the same way as the ones you know more about. I did actually say somethiing to my friend finally and we're no longer friends I would also just avoid the subject (and meals with her) in the future.

symesa

Nope. Wouldn't have said a word. I simply can't talk to anyone who is fanatical about anything -- food, religion, money, work, etc. I have more interest in talking to brick walls...of course, that's pretty much what you'd be doing.

_Sue_

Ugh, I'd probably have to bite my tongue, but the PPs are right, probably best to leave it alone and avoid her/eating with her from now on.

sarasuzy

I wouldnt' have said anything, but I would have been super annoyed!! Jeez! I am so determined that no matter how much I'm obsessed with my "points" in my mind, to not talk about it all the time to people at dinners and stuff...because that is annoying. And especially when you are giving people TIPS as they are eating. Ugh! I hope you don't have to hang out with her anymore!