Should I let it go? - Page 4

Mcheer · 08-27-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeriKadi

I actually like the stamp on the hand idea

That is what we have always gotten at the end of every activity we have ever done..A sucker once in a while is great but the It is not a good thing to associate school with suckers...I hear your point on that one!

KBtotheBB · 08-27-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeriKadi

I appreciate everyone's responses. What I have realized is I have to think about how important this is to me. I bounced this off a irl friend and she has the same concerns. I guess what bothers me most about the suckers is nobody asked me if they were alergic, nobody asked if it was ok she just gave them to the girls. This teacher doesn't know if my girls are alergic to dyes.
I filled out a form at the school but I accidentally had the forms with me so they didn't have them on file. she had no idea how I answered the allergy questions.

Kim, as you can see I never said anything about forcing my preferences on other children. I only talked about providing alternatives or what I should do for MY children. The peanut discussion was YEARS ago. You are right I was annoyed my boys couldn't take candy to school in their own lunchboxes. The school was not peanut free, this was only a lunch rule which is where part of my confusion came from. However, if you remembed that discussion you would also remember that it ended with me admitting that I had learned some things after being educated by some of the members and understood why it was important.
My girls being given candy without my permission is not important.
I'm not asking for something against policy. Giving suckers and using hand gel are not listed in the policies, I read the handbook. I think it is more these teachers habits/preferences.

There are 8 children in the K class where the suckers are given. There are 6 children in the Drama class where the anti bacterial gel is given. It's not like either of these teachers are dealing with DOZENS of kids. So the fact that 1/4 of the class doesn't want suckers and 1/3 of the class doesn't want hand gel shouldn't be a big deal.

I realize what it comes down to is I wasn't given the opportunity to say no and that is probably what bugs me the most.

Ok, I agree with the allergy concern, and I admit I didn't even think of that. I guess I'm in line with the teachers in that I would not have thought there'd be any to be allergic to in a Dum Dum. I guess there is, and maybe they're made in a facility that does something with peanuts. Who knows. Anyway, agree.

I only brought up the peanut debacle because in the beginning, you suggested bringing something all natural/better for them. You want the teacher to change her ways because 1/4 of the class doesn't want Dum Dums/suckers ... what about the other 3/4 of the class? By bringing the treats *you* prefer KA and A to have, you ARE forcing your preferences on the other kids. Now, if you brought Keri-approved treats for just KA and A, that's different.

Cynthia · 08-27-2008, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeriKadi

If you read my other posts you'd see that one of my thoughts was to provide something either just for my gilrs or for all the kids. I would never consider asking the teacher to purchase something special for my kids nor did I ever mention that.

My thought is to maybe talk with the other parents and see how they feel. If everyone is gung ho on the suckers and don't feel it is an issue then I will talk with the girls, I will let them know tomorrow I'd like for them to wait until we get home to eat their suckers. I may just see if once we are home I can offer them a trade like someone else (sorry I forget who) mentioned. Maybe some of the other parents are annoyed as well and together we can come up with something better everyone is ok with. I actually like the stamp on the hand idea or even a sticker both of which I would be happy to provide.

I just had to say that all these ideas seem kind of rude to me. One, providing snacks for just your girls? Two, if I was the teacher, I'd really be offended by mom's banning together and giving me alternatives to my freaking dum-dum sucker treat that I probably thought was a splendid idea in the first place.

Honestly, I really, really, really do prefer the stamp on the hand idea over a sweet treat. But I'm not the teacher and neither are you. And I don't think it's your place to suggest anything to the teacher. The idea of 7 moms getting together to discuss alternative treats is, frankly, hysterical. If you don't like the suckers, don't let your girls have them or trade them out for something when you get home. Or just don't go to that class anymore.

KeriKadi · 08-27-2008, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBtotheBB

I only brought up the peanut debacle because in the beginning, you suggested bringing something all natural/better for them. You want the teacher to change her ways because 1/4 of the class doesn't want Dum Dums/suckers ... what about the other 3/4 of the class? By bringing the treats *you* prefer KA and A to have, you ARE forcing your preferences on the other kids. Now, if you brought Keri-approved treats for just KA and A, that's different.

Please go back and read my posts.
I NEVER said I would force my preferences on anyone.
NEVER said I will bring suckers EVERYONE has to eat.
What I did say is that I would bring natural suckers.
What I did say is I would bring suckers for my girls we would be happy to share.
My thinking was to provide a healthy alternative out of my own pocket for my children and if the teacher decided to use my suckers for everyone because it was easier for her, fine. If she wanted to continue giving Dum Dums or the other kids and their parents really want Dum Dums that is fine.

Never said anybody else had to eat what I provided.

I don't get it - letting them eat something provided without my permission isn't forcing something on me but if I provide another alternative for my children we are willing to share I am forcing something????

As I stated before I am not ok with school = candy. I would much prefer stamp/sticker but if she really wants to hand out candy and my girls really want what everyone else is doing maybe I could at least provide something not as nasty.

KBtotheBB · 08-27-2008, 08:28 PM

I am pretty sure that I stated that if you brought stuff for just KA and A, that is different.

I am done. No more because we both are misreading each other's posts. This would be a much shorter and clearer IRL convo.

Cynthia · 08-27-2008, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBtotheBB

This would be a much shorter and clearer IRL convo.

True that.

KeriKadi · 08-27-2008, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthia

I just had to say that all these ideas seem kind of rude to me. One, providing snacks for just your girls? Two, if I was the teacher, I'd really be offended by mom's banning together and giving me alternatives to my freaking dum-dum sucker treat that I probably thought was a splendid idea in the first place.

Honestly, I really, really, really do prefer the stamp on the hand idea over a sweet treat. But I'm not the teacher and neither are you. And I don't think it's your place to suggest anything to the teacher. The idea of 7 moms getting together to discuss alternative treats is, frankly, hysterical. If you don't like the suckers, don't let your girls have them or trade them out for something when you get home. Or just don't go to that class anymore.

Agreeing to disagree

Again, if you read my posts I said I'd wait this out before I said anything.
Again, I said I was going to think about this some more.

You make it sound like I am going to push my way in there and bully the teacher. Let me make it perfectly clear that is not my intent.

However, as a parent my #1 job isn't to make my kids teachers comfy. My #1 job is MY kids. If I am not ok with something a teacher/school is doing just quitting isn't the answer. That is not how things are done in my book. I am not a quitter. And to suggest that I remove my girls from class rather than make a different treat/reward suggestion is what I find hysterical.
IF I talk with the teacher it would be with respect and appreciation and only to offer a suggestion not to tell her what to do or what she was doing is wrong.
I seriously doubt the teacher would be nearly as offended as you seem to be simply because a parent suggested an alternative treat.
I teach CCE. If I told the parents I was having a party and please bring X and they said "how about X instead" I would not be offended in any way shape or form. I know this because it has happened. Ok, great, if you think X will go over better and you are more comfortable with that, awesome!

As a parent it is my job for my feelings/thoughts to be heard.
If the teacher is really happy with Dum Dums or has some kind of connection to them that is fine but that doens't mean I want it for my kids.

Cynthia · 08-27-2008, 09:02 PM

You did say that you were going to talk to the other moms. "Maybe some of the other parents are annoyed as well and together we can come up with something better everyone is ok with. I actually like the stamp on the hand idea or even a sticker both of which I would be happy to provide."

I guess I just don't get how someone can feel so strongly about and opposed to their child having two pieces of hard candy/week and get so bent out of shape about it. In the grand scheme of things, it hardly seems worth it to me. Do you plan to monitor what they will eat at their friends' houses always? I'm just trying to figure out how you are going to control everything that goes in their mouths.

lapoissonne · 08-27-2008, 09:07 PM

I must add that the Trader Joes Organic lollipops are YUMMY. Especially the Pomegranate ones....

ksirrah · 08-27-2008, 10:49 PM

Wow.... Just do what you feel is right for your children. If you feel you should say something, do so. In the long run you don't have to answer to the teacher or us lovely ladies on here, you have to answer to yourself.

Provide an alternative as stated, just make sure that you are okay with the decision you make. When you hand the teacher the bag of goodies, just say,"We're all about the Crunchy, natural food goodness that is organic. I would prefer my girls to have these, and if the other kids want to try it, they are welcome too." Just say it in Keri-ese. I wouldn't see how you're stepping on toes. You made the kids, they came out of you, you have a say on what goes into there bodies. That being said, Diva gets a dum dum after she gets shots. Hell I feed her fast food...She loves Mc'D's fries.
As for the Germ-X, I didn't know that stuff was bad. What's wrong with it? I'm clueless...