Having a strong social structure is as important, or even more important, than having a strong family structure. Raising children is the most important job in the world, and it can't be done effectively without a little bit of help from your friends.
Online Interaction is Good
One of the things we set out to do with building this site was to build a place where moms can talk and give each other advice, empathy, and a semblance of social activity that can take place for a few moments here and there throughout your busy days. A place where people can learn a few things over time that might help them to be better moms, better people, or maybe just take a break and relax. These kinds of places are very important, especially for moms who don't or can't afford themselves time for fun outside the home.Brief snippets of online interaction can do wonders for breaking up the day into smaller more manageable chunks of time.
Human Interaction is Better
While having a bit of fun with your online friends is good, there is still something more to be had by taking the time to hang out with some girlfriends who know the real you. Every day you make sacrifices without thinking about it, and the most commonly sacrificed element of a Mom's life is her social life. It's great to spend time with the children. It can be one of the most rewarding things you can ever do. It simply cannot be the only thing. You will be a better mom if you take the time to make yourself happy. You will have more patience with the kids. You will be able to get more done if you are happy and have regular adult interaction. You will pick up advice and ideas for how to manage your family better simply by being around other people.How do you do it?
There's a lot to be said for the term JFDI. ("Just Jolly-well Do It", with the appropriate censored replacements). Call up a long lost friend and go get lunch. Drop the kids off at the grandparents' house or share child-watching duties with another Mom you trust enough with your children. Sometimes things are not that easy. Maybe your old friends don't have kids and you have trouble relating lifestyles with them. Or maybe you can't work out schedules with anybody. Joining a Mom's club is one way to get started. The playdates are fun, and the moms usually have at least an occasional grown-ups-only get-together.Your kids can open up new social avenues with other moms who know and understand your lifestyle. Take the time to say hi and meet some of the other mothers at the park or at one of your toddler's scheduled activities (Gymboree, art class, dance class, etc.). Chances are you'll meet someone who also needs a bit of a break that has a lot in common. Even if you spend all the time away from your family talking about your family, the time apart is very important for your overall mental health.
Schedule It Regularly
Whether it's online time or real live human being time, do it regularly. If you can get away with a scheduled time regularly, do it. It gives you something to look forward to, and the knowledge that some "you-time" is coming up helps you get through otherwise dreary tasks.Know Yourself
Sometimes you really need a bit of alone time. Or maybe you know that you would be much happier if you got your hair done, or your nails. Or maybe you really enjoy bowling. Do the things that will make you happy, even if it means that you have to do them by yourself. Many people are uncomfortable in social situations, but you'll often find that once you gain a certain comfort level you can really have a good time. Keep working at it.Talk About Strength in Numbers
